“My son, hear the instruction of your

                                    father, and do not forsake the law of

                                    your mother; for they will be a

                                    graceful ornament on your head, and

                                    chains about your neck.”

                                                            Proverbs 1:8-9

Mothers fulfill a unique and amazing calling in the plan of God since they provide a loving, caring and secure environment for their children. This enables their children to grow up emotionally balanced and with a sense of well being, confidence and security. These are essential ingredients that every child should have in order to take hold of the many challenges that life will bring his or her way. Godly mothers also have a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit that men very often do not have because women are naturally intuitive and when saved and reconciled to God by the atoning work of Jesus Christ they have a sense of spiritual discernment that when listened to can save their families from great troubles. The wisdom that God gave Moses’ mother not only saved Moses but also a whole nation!

Also, it is no coincidence that churches are more filled with mothers than fathers! The unsaved male nature is very often proud and arrogant whereas the female temperament is quiet and cautious. Scripture acknowledges this when it states:

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward…

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with

the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

 which is very precious in the sight of God.”

1 Peter 3:3-4

So then:

1. Children need the love that mothers can give them.
2. Children need the spiritual guidance that mothers can give them. Paul, writing to Timothy acknowledged that Timothy’s spiritual strength came from his mother and grandmother.

“……when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that

is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and

your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.”

                                    2 Timothy 1:5

             This is not to say that Fathers do not have a primary role in teaching their

children about God; they do and scripture affirms it but sadly in many cases

this unique privilege and obligation is neglected and it falls upon the

shoulder’s of mothers to discharge and carry this calling. It is no coincidence

that the majority of Children Church teachers in our churches are mothers!

3. Children find caring support in their mothers after have been corrected and

disciplined by their fathers. This support never contradicts the discipline meted out by the father but rather it affirms it and nevertheless reminds the child that he or she is greatly loved. Where there is no mother in the home the father’s discipline can damage the child because he is left with a feeling of alienation and rejection. Fathers should give attention to this. (Ephesian 6:4)

4. Children need the respect that their mothers give their fathers. We live in an

age when children do not respect their fathers as, too often they see them as authority figures that have to be rebelled against. This can certainly be the result of poor parenting but undoubtedly the spirit of the world encourages this at every level and scripture warns of this (2 Timothy 3:1-5) All of this makes the calling of being a mother just that more important and critical. By contrast Paul admonished mothers in this way:

“…older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior

not slanderers, nor given to much wine, teachers of good

things; that they admonish the young women to love their

husbands, to love their children…”

Titus 2:3-4

And;

“Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his

own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects    

her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33

One of the finest examples of godly mothering is found in the life of Susanna Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley and rightly designated the “Mother of Methodism.” Susanna Wesley had nineteen children and, though some died early in life the rest were given a very good education which included being fluent in Greek and Latin and the study of classical literature. Susanna certainly had her hands full but she still found time to pray for two hours every day! Her children were a remarkable gift to the world and this was not because of coincidence or luck. She was a very good mother and made it her goal to rightly prepare her children for life. Today with gender roles being confused and marriage being torn apart it is no coincidence that we are raising a generation that is rapidly becoming more lawless with every passing day and that cannot cope with the demands of life.

Final thoughts

Fathers equip their children for life by teaching their children valuable lessons that build integrity and faithfulness into their characters. They are also charged with teaching their children about God and what He has done for them in Christ. However, mothers prepare their children for life because they impart to them love, compassion and the appreciation of others. The result is children are raised ready to enter the world and able to impact it for good. Susanna Wesley’s two boys, Charles and John, are certainly examples of this. Children need a mother and a father to ensure that they grow up well adjusted and sure of their place in the world.

So, now we know why the Devil is determined to destroy the biblical concept of marriage and family as when it functions as God intended children are birthed into the world and equipped to destroy his work in society. We need godly mothers more than ever!

Malcolm Hedding

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children
to wrath, but bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4

The Bible places great importance on marriage; the consequences of which are children. The Lord God of Heaven, we are told in scripture, desires Godly offspring (Malachi 2:15) who will continue to honor and serve Him throughout their generations. Being a father then carries with it an awesome responsibility, a truth demonstrated by the fact that the name Father comes from God Himself (Ephesians 3:14-15) since the act of fathering finds its fullest expression in God’s creation of, and engagement with, us. Our God is our Creator and Father in that He begets us again through Christ and cares for us in ways so wonderful that they are unimaginable. Fathers then have a holy calling and they should set out chiefly to introduce their children to God, their heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ.

This is a very serious business as it is not a given that godly fathers will bring forth godly children into the world. Hezekiah was a godly king and yet he failed as a father because his son Manasseh turned out to be a very wicked individual. In fact it was because of Manasseh that God visited an awful destruction upon His people.

“I will hand them over to trouble, to all the kingdoms of
the earth, because Manasseh the son of Hezekiah, king
of Judah, for what he did in Jerusalem.”
Jeremiah 15:4

This reality should make every earthly father tremble because he is training his children; either by neglect or by design but either way he is training them and God is watching. Fathering is a huge privilege that carries with it a huge responsibility. We should then consider the following:

The Fatherhood of God
The God we serve made human beings male and female. This in turn means that, while God is essentially male, He understands the female character as it flows out of Him. The “helpmeet” He made for Adam is in fact called “woman” as she comes out of man (Genesis 2:23). She is a part of him and when united with him in marriage is part of his flesh and so, as Paul confesses, he who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). Male and female have the capacity to be the same emotionally and it is thus a father’s responsibility to stamp and male or female identity upon his children. God our Father made them male and female and so to a lesser degree so must earthly fathers. Our children are born male or female and it is the calling of fathers to make them male and female.

Where there is a home without a father the children will be subjected to female influences only and these will greatly impact their personalities. It is no coincidence that the growth of the homosexual movement is directly related to the breakdown of modern marriages. Little boys who should be acting like boys begin to act like girls! I have seen this everywhere. The problem is the fathers are absent; either literally or emotionally and consequently the children grow up with identity issues. It is the function of the Father in the home to stamp a male or female image upon his children! This might I say is a very unique calling.

Boys and girls
Boys should be made to behave, play, act and work as boys and girls as girls. It is in the heart of boys to hunt, play “cops and robbers’, climb trees and win in competitive sports or games. Girls love to teach, give an opinion, beautify, nurse, dress up and express caring concern. It is the father’s role to encourage these in a godly way. Sadly, in much of the West today boys are being turned into wimps and deliberately so by an institutional process that seeks to suppress their natural god-given instincts. These instincts have to be trained and not denied and so now we are told that boys should not win running races at school as this will make them too competitive and hurt other people’s feelings and they should not run around with toy guns playing war or cops and robbers because this encourages violence. They should also not engage in robust recreational pursuits as these will hurt or injure them. By contrast they should be wimps and are! By the way women want to marry men and not girls in a man’s body!

An engaging father will discern the strengths of his girls and boys and “play into them.” I well remember my son coming to me years ago requesting that I should drive him to the shops to get something. These shops were about a mile away. Consequently I told him to man up, put on his big boy shoes and get down there himself; and he did. Some days later my daughter made the same request and I obliged by driving her down to the shops. My son was scandalized and asked why he had to walk and so I told him because you are a boy! My son ran all over the place playing sports, surfing, engaging in mock war games called “Paint Ball” and generally tearing up the neighborhood. Good for him! He sometimes came home bruised and bleeding but I was determined to turn him into a man. I also have two girls and likewise encouraged them to pursue those things that pertain to a female identity. Today these girls are highly professional, married, smart, caring and they can really cook; and I mean really cook! Fathers are entrusted with this calling and most today are failing.

Boys, girls and Jesus
Jesus was a man amongst men and tough as nails and yet He was gentle, kind, compassionate and godly. Mary was young, sensitive, thoughtful, caring and also godly. These are the types of boys and girls that Fathers should produce. The book of Proverbs states:

“Train up a child in the way he should go
and when he is old he will not depart from
it.”
Proverbs 22:6

So, fathers are to train their children and this means consistently teaching them the great lessons of life. To train children also means that one has to live out the lessons that one is teaching. Fathers must teach their children by example. Children learn quickly and they tend to do what they see their fathers doing even if the father is giving the right instruction but not the right action! Fathers must above all lead their children to Jesus and so, given what we have just written above, they must model the life of Jesus for their offspring. Their children should see them praying, reading the Bible daily and regularly going to church. Moreover, fathers should do more than just go to church they should be involved and committed to church life. If we as fathers do not give attention to these things our children will grow up traditional Christians and nothing more. Fathers have the awesome responsibility of bringing their sons and daughters to Jesus. In all of this they require wisdom and balance as their children must learn that serving Jesus has little to do with “dos and don’ts” and everything to do with a real relationship with Christ. For this reason Paul wrote:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they
become discouraged.”
Colossians 3:21

In the end fathers must love, train and discipline their children. In all of this they must be consistent and unswerving. They do not have to be high performers! No, they must simply love God and take their fathering responsibilities seriously. They should also remember that the greatest gift they can ever give their children is to love Jesus and their children’s mother!

Malcolm Hedding